in


damn clocks.
why do we have to have them anyway?
all they ever do is measure time.
and all i ever do is wish they didn't.

especially on the weekends.

have a great monday.

"what's this?"

in


"don't eat it. you won't like it."
"no?"
"nope. it's yucky."



"this?"
"no! i promise you...you'll hate it."
"i'm gonna try it."
"well......okay. if you really want to. i guess it's okay."



"i ate it!"
"you're a brave boy"
"i'm a brave boy!"



i'd like to ask the sun if she could always shine down on me
so that i could be a rainbow when people look at me.
i'd like them to be able to see my colors.

i'd like to ask the wind if she could gently
blow on me
so that i can twist in the wind
but remain grounded.

and i won't even mind if the rain
falls down on me and rusts me.
because even though i'm weathered, i can
still shine.


i think i'll ask them if that could be possible.

when you were born

in


nobody told me that i would fall in love with you.

or that you would drive me crazy on a regular basis.

they didn't tell me that when i finally would discover the source of that horrible stench i'd been smelling for days, that its source would be your dirty clothes and dishes in places i had never before thought possible.

and they surely didn't tell me that i would never stop worrying about you no matter how old you are.

or that my job as a parent was never-ending because there's always new things to negotiate...new wrinkles to iron out.

and that no matter how many times you may come and go, my heart still aches when you go

i read those sayings.
you know...
the sayings about how we give our children roots and wings at the same time...
or that our children are never our own.
i thought they were so poignant.
so sweet
and meaningful.
and they are.
i just didn't fully understand about the reality
of them.

i knew you would leave someday
it was tucked away in the back of my head like a distant storm cloud,
making its way towards me
until it was here.
and now it's raining down on me.

it's time you make your own way
build your own life.
live on your own and face your future.

and i'm still going to be your mom
the best way that i know how.
that part will never change.

it's just different.
yet again.

my very creative brother in law sent me this amazing clip that i just have to share with you.
(thanks c)

i hope you enjoy it!
i really did.



if one is feeling the mood for some pleasure time, then this album is the perfect choice.
some of the music included:

"i'm in the mood for love" - goes without saying
"body and soul" - another one that goes without saying
"i can't give you anything but love" - again with the goes without saying

but then as look on the list of songs, i see

"i've got five dollars" - okay. inflation has certainly taken its toll because i'm sure that love costs much more than that these days

then there's
"just friends" - ouch.

and finally,
"limehouse blues"

i can honestly say that when i'm in the mood for pleasure, blues does not come to my mind.
"Whoa nobody loves me, nobody seems to care
Well worries and trouble darling, babe you know I've had my share"
does not induce a pleasure mood for me.

what do you think?

in


it's my new look.
kidding.

i didn't really get my haircut.

do you think the sunburned look will catch on?

i'm not in the habit of doing things like this.
only when i have to.
like say for instance...the self portrait challenge for this week.
and i looked so dorky, i made myself laugh.
hope you will too.



i'm not sure why, but i felt like purging this random stuff.
it's blatant self-absorption.
just warning you.

i've never had a broken bone
i have had stitches though, when my brother caught my face with the edge of a snow shovel
i was once in a commercial for ground turkey meat when i was 11 years old
i've worn braces on my teeth...twice. and they're still crooked. go figure. stubborn teeth.
i played the cheshire cat in the ballet of alice in wonderland when i was a kid
i've been in four states at one time (where arizona, colorado, utah and new mexico join-the only place in the united states where four states meet)
my current house is the house where i have lived the longest during any period of my life (9 years)
i had to apply to graduate school three times before i was accepted. that was brutal.
my nose is very crooked
i breastfed my daughter for 15 months
if there is a puddle nearby, i will seek it out and purposely jump in it
i have arthritis in my feet
i have never lived without a dog
i like to say the words "devil's food cake"
i have worn bangs my entire life
i studied piano for 6 years but the only thing i remember now is chopsticks and one bach intervention
i can hand cut glass and have the scars to prove it
i have lived in new england, the southwest and the south, but i consider the south my home
i never know the names of streets, i only know them by sight
i love every kind of vegetable (even brussel sprouts) and will choose them over fruit any day
we consciously chose to have one child but have been the recipient of many harsh criticisms from people i don't even know because of this decision
i love to play cribbage but don't play much anymore since my grandmother died last year
if you make me laugh, i'll be your friend forever
i was fired from my first job as a waitress at hardee's
i was once in a play, but absolutely despised it
i'll choose beer over wine or liquor any day
i have to work hard at being on time and oftentimes still don't succeed
i wish i used humor more to cope with stress
i complain that i never get enough time to do the things i want, and then when i have the time, i end up pissing it away doing other stupid stuff

in



i look in my daughter's eyes.
the eyes of happiness.
the eyes of youth and expectations.
i say
you're so young.
you have your whole life ahead of you.
and these...
these are the best days of your life.

and she smiles.

i look into the eyes of my 87 year old friend.
the eyes of wisdom.
the eyes of a man who has lived a long and happy life.
he says
you're so young.
you have your whole life ahead of you.
these are the best days of your life.

and i smile.

self portrait tuesday

in
january's challenge is "album covers"

i have been a bit slack the last few weeks of december's challenge.
but now i am back on task.
this month, jeremy has asked that we use album covers for the basis of our self-portraits in any way that we'd like. which means we can butcher them however we see fit, as long as we include ourselves on the cover somehow. what fun!

since i had long ago given away all of my albums (stupidly) i knew the first one that i wanted to find was this herb alpbert album. it was my father's very favorite and i remember staring at this provocative woman on the cover and thinking "wow, she sure likes whipped cream."
sharp as a tack i was.

when i went thrifting to hunt it down, it was waiting for me right there.
lucky me.

here's the original album cover.



and this one is my effort.



it's sugar free whipped cream.
i promise.



new year's is all about resolutions.
strong will.
courage and bold determination.

well, i've decided that this year, i would make a list of indecisions.
yep.
i'm all about the indecisions this year.
none of that courageous stuff.
i'll have none of it.
so here goes.....

1. i shall reserve the right to be indecisive about situations of which i know nothing about.
2. i shall be fearful about jumping to conclusions
3. i shall be boldly tentative about judging myself for the mistakes that i make
4. i think i will not be so quick to act when it comes to judging others
5. when someone is screaming angry with me, i vow to be incredibly uncertain about whether to yell back at them or not.
6. when faced with the reality that i did not check to see if there was toilet paper on the roll beforehand, i will vacillate between whether it is my fault or mr. ntm's fault.
7. if someone cuts me off on the road, i will be downright cowardly about whether or not to flip them off

happy new year's
may your 2009 be all you dream it will be

it's cold.
and winter.

what if it were an 80 degree, perfect sunny day in december?
if we cross the arthur ravenel bridge over the cooper river, we could be in charleston, sc in no time flat.



try not to encourage mr. ntm for using palm tree bark for reindeer antlers.
i know he's a dork, but he's funny.



what if we were to take in the sights and soak up some sun?




if you don't like oysters, the crab is great too.



we could go to the market where the women weave sweetgrass baskets.
most of them have been weaving for more than 30 years and learned from their family when they were little girls.
their handiwork is an amazing art.




i like the baskets that have the chinaberries woven into their handles



what if we walked on cobblestone streets



past sweet golden retrievers on big, antebellum porches?



would that be okay?
here's wishing your sun is always shining

guess you think you're pretty smart

in
don't you?
like you got this thing.
and that you're going to go out and set the world on fire...
make your mark..
show your stuff and make everyone sit up and take notice of all your very special gifts that you offer just because of who you are.

well, then.....
you'd be right.
and i'm more than proud for you.
you set your goal, and you accomplished it.

congratulations on graduating, my sweet, wonderful girl.