nobody told me that i would fall in love with you.

or that you would drive me crazy on a regular basis.

they didn't tell me that when i finally would discover the source of that horrible stench i'd been smelling for days, that its source would be your dirty clothes and dishes in places i had never before thought possible.

and they surely didn't tell me that i would never stop worrying about you no matter how old you are.

or that my job as a parent was never-ending because there's always new things to negotiate...new wrinkles to iron out.

and that no matter how many times you may come and go, my heart still aches when you go

i read those sayings.
you know...
the sayings about how we give our children roots and wings at the same time...
or that our children are never our own.
i thought they were so poignant.
so sweet
and meaningful.
and they are.
i just didn't fully understand about the reality
of them.

i knew you would leave someday
it was tucked away in the back of my head like a distant storm cloud,
making its way towards me
until it was here.
and now it's raining down on me.

it's time you make your own way
build your own life.
live on your own and face your future.

and i'm still going to be your mom
the best way that i know how.
that part will never change.

it's just different.
yet again.