the 10 commandments of christmas season behavior

1. thou shalt not use "yuletide log" or "christmas balls" in a derogatory fashion

2. thou shalt not punch, hit or shove any human under the age of 10 in store lines. after the age of 10, it's all fair game.

3. thou shalt not wear fat pants for any longer period of time than january 30th at which such time the 8 pounds that have been gained should be well on their way to being gone

4. thou shalt refrain from dressing with any item of clothing that blinks, jingles or requires a battery

5. thou shalt not drink red bull and eat items with high sugar content at the same time. (this includes pets as well)

6. thou shalt bear in mind that there is a direct correlation between power bills and exterior lighting decorating choices

7. thou shalt act merry and brite at all times....even if it kills you.

8. thou shalt remember that there is only one christmas per year and that you will remember this christmas fondly every year after, giving anything to have it back.