1. if the simple phrase "merry christmas to you" is being offered to kids from one to ninety two, then does that mean that infants and people older than ninety two don't get to have a merry christmas?
2. how many sexual innuendos can be made from assorted christmas terminology such as: jingle bells, christmas balls, yule log and chestnuts roasting on an open fire?
3. why do most people strive to be on the nice list when the naughty list is so much more fun?
4. on average, how many no-no words are used when putting up a christmas tree per household?
5. on average, how many no-no words are used when putting up outside christmas lights and decorations per household?
6. where is santa claus lane, anyhow?
7. why do we think we can make the yuletide gay? it's not a matter of choice.