Mr. Nobody Tells Me and I are consummate do it yourselfers. We have always prided ourselves on being able to do all sorts of things around the house. But lately, the all sorts of things around the house have been adding up and so we decided to take the plunge and actually part with some money to hire someone else to do the things that our slack asses have not been keeping up with.

I'm not sure why the builder that built our house never paved the driveway completely. Perhaps it was because we were cheapt. At any rate, our two car driveway narrows down to a one car driveway at the end and when you have as many cars as Ernest's Valu-City-Car-O-Rama, it works your last nerve trying to maneuver vehicles around. We decided that it was time to get it paved so that it would be a two car driveway all the way down to the end.

Mr. Nobody Tells Me's friend of a friend owned a company that does stuff like that, so he came out and gave us a fantabulous quote. We jumped on it.

Houston, we have a shituation.

Sure this looks straight if you've been smoking crack and stand on one foot while tucking your head under your armpit.

We're not anal people. We don't quibble about the little things. Why no. We're pretty easy to please. Really.

I can hardly calm Mr. Nobody Tells Me down. I figure he'll eventually run out of food in the pantry and his food mania will finally give way to sleep. Dear God, please just don't let him dream about concrete mixers.