This is one of our sweet beasts. We have two sweet beasts. This girl's human-given name is Molly, but she has a cropped tail that looks like a little nub and wiggles back and forth when she is happy therefore, we call her Twizzle or Twizzie for short. Not sure of the nickname logic here, I know it's a leap. But I'm sure that it makes perfect sense in its own weird dog owner way. Twizzie is super high she's on amphetamines high energy. Most times, this is endearing, but there are times that she drives me, Mr. Nobody Tells Me, the p. b. kid and her canine sister, Madame Clicks-a-Lot insane.

When she came to live with us, Madame Clicks was tolerant. Madame is awesome like that. Madame Clicks is part bassett, so nothing ruffles her feathers much. Not even a super high spirited ball of yapping, jumping fur that gnaws on her ears and jowls. We have all grown to love Twizzie very much. And, she loves us- even making friends with her pseudo-human friend, Miss Amanda. I have to say that Twizzie has eclipsed Madame Clicks in that department. Madame Clicks is still working that one through.

Twizzie is loved and adored. She runs around the backyard and gives the squirrels hell. She is fed everyday plus gets a morning treat. I repeat...she is fed everyday plus gets a morning treat.

So, pray tell, why in everloving hell does this dog think this:

looks like this?

I have searched the internet, I have searched books, I have searched books on the internet. I have even toyed with the idea of begging the dog whisperer for some insight. But I have come up with nada. Zip. Zilch. I won't go into the particulars, but you can imagine the glee Twizzie has first thing in the morning when we let the girls out for their early morning bathroom rituals. It's like a freaking buffet. She is definitely on face licking restriction.

Ideas, anyone?