the other day i was thinking about my relationship
with numbers......

the number of kisses
my husband has given me on my neck

the number of hugs
my daughter has wrapped me in

or

the number of glorious sunsets
my eyes have taken in

the number of hours
my ears have absorbed such wonderful music
that it's sent me to another world

the number of times
a photograph or an idea has come together in that
glorious aha moment

i take those numbers for granted.
in fact,
i don't even know what
those numbers are....
i never take the time
to honor them.

and yet,

in 50 days,
i will turn 50.

and i have let
that number
so
negatively
define
me...
twist
me......
chain
me.

i think
i'm going to try to
talk numbers
into
doing some
therapy
with
me
so we can
have a
better
relationship.

out
of step
out
of time
out
of balance
out
of
mind.


silence.

you never
know
when the moment will
b e.

when you
just happen
to catch a glimpse
of
s o m e t h i n g.

a casual glance tossed a particular way,
that gets caught
and becomes forever ingrained
in
your
h e a r t.

something you'll carry with you forever.
those moments that
become part of your historical
t r e a s u r e s.

living life
on
a
cloud
of
smug

if my hair fell

out of

my

head,

i'd plant flowers

there instead

and

water them

with ideas

so they

would

grow in

all

different

colors.

it's possible,
that
anything
is possible
if you believe
that
nothing
is
impossible
for
you.

hello
yellow.

lately,
i've been having a lot
of
fights
with vulnerability
and
vulnerability wins
every time.

i really hate that.

and the
little
dog
laughed
and
laughed
til her sides
split
and
she
peed
her
pants.

looking for
a
roadmap
to
a
parallel
universe and
hoping
i can
speak
the
language
once i
get
there.

when i was
little,
i was told to stay on
the
path.
"watch for the markers
and
stay on the path
or
you might get lost"
i was
told.

so i would
dutifully look
for the markers
because i surely
didn't want
to
get lost.

later,
i realized
that the markers i was looking
for,
weren't the markers for the path
i had been
on.

i had been
following completely
different
markers
all
along.

and
it
wasn't
bad
at
all.

in this space,
i
shall
breathe.

"the edges are important"
she said,
"because
you never
know when
you're going to need
them
to keep
you
from
falling."

i need
a
vacation
from myself,
but
the flights
are
too
expensive.

just
a
slice
of
perspective
served up
with a
topping
of
cluck.

don't wake me
please.
i choose to stay here
and
eat
strawberries.
lots
and
lots
of
strawberries.

watering
the
garden
suddenly takes on a
whole
new
meaning
when you live
with a
dog.

don't let the calm
exterior
fool
you,
she said.
there is plenty
of
restlessness
inside
but i manage
to keep it tamed
with
lots
of
sunshine
and
fried
dough.

i never get
tired
of
being
astounded.

i have found
that
stretching boundaries
usually won't make
them
break
but sometimes
i get
into
trouble
when i
ignore
the
no
trespassing
signs.